


Darcy does Asgard

by Indecent_Proposals (Ka_she_who_lurks)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Darcy kills a man with sex, Evil Odin (Marvel), F/M, Odin is a giant douche, Odin is not the father, Pregnancy, The only reason this is a happy fic is because Darcy, dubcon, why, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 18:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14001957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ka_she_who_lurks/pseuds/Indecent_Proposals
Summary: Darcy gets herself out of a situation by way of hard work.Or working to get something hard, anyway.





	Darcy does Asgard

Look, when I followed Janey to Asgard, I didn't expect to kill a man with sex, ok? It was his own fault anyways, declaring me the palace's courtesan.  
Janey didn't notice, because she was too deep in alien-science and Thor, but, yeah.

Basically, Thor's mom, uh, also Loki's mom I guess, had been dead for a bit, and old guy had a serious case of the blue balls.  
So he saw lil'old me, curves for days and, y'know, a lowly Midgardian to be ordered about and no-one to do a thing about it, because I don't think he actually thinks of people as, y'know, people, so, he was like "Ey, you're the fancy palace public fucktoy now. Get over here and suck ma dick."

Total fucking asshole basically, makes you really understand why Lokes got so screwed up, and makes you glad that Thor is, well, Thor.  
He's not a dummy or anything, but he's kinda... dense? Like, he has so much concentrated Thor-ness about him that that sort of stuff just slides right off him.

Right. So. The normal response here I guess is to be totally fucking traumatized and lay there like a ragdoll while old guy gets his rocks off. And it isn't like I was happy to be ordered into that kind of thing, but honestly?  
I like sex. Fucking love it.  
So while I kinda had a hate-on for old guy and his anti-women and humans have rights and stuff agenda, I didn't actually mind the sex part of it. 

Fun fact: while human men can go for two, maybe three rounds tops on average, and usually are pretty knackered after round number one, an Asgardian dude can go for, like, five, easy. Most of them where down for the count after nine or so.  
Now that can really wear a girl down fast, especially with all the guards and the fact that Asgard has like three to five dudes for every lady or so, but I screwed the premier magic man, A.K.A. Loki, through the bed a couple of times, and he made me the cutest little bracelet that keeps me lubed up and has some healing mojo in there so I'll never get sore again.  
And after that?  
Whoo, I really worked on my stamina, let me tell you that. 

Also, in all this, I got a bit of a shock, because I did not expect Thor.  
Janey loves the science, and can get pretty caught up in that, and Thor's basically a fertility god, beyond the whole lightning thing, so there's a bit of a thing where not-so-little Thor needs a bit of loving while Janey's unavailable due to becoming one with the science.  
So he asked Janey if he could sleep with me when their horny levels don't match up, and she said yes, and then when Thor showed up with intent to pork, I asked Janey whether that was a-okay, and she said yes.  
Like, actual yes, not the "I am the science, now go away"-yes.

Anyway, sex with people other than Odin is just plain fun.  
Most of them have enough social awkward that they don't try a damn thing if I ignore them or purposefully misunderstand them, and a lot are up to just about anything in the bedroom after a bit of flirting.

So after getting intimate with and getting a cream filling from both his sons, not to mention like three quarter of the guards, half the maids, a handful of healers, most of the ladies-in-waiting, all of the kitchen staff, twenty diplomats and a few more people besides, you'd think that maybe old guy thinks "ey, this is a bit creepy, how about I don't fuck a woman I don't respect?", but no.  
I don't think he even respected his wife all that much, so I shouldn't've been surprised he kept calling me to his rooms, you know?

And then I was like "fuck it, I'm going to screw this little creep into a heart-attack, or at least the ability to walk for half-a-day." except he's an Asgardian dude, so I thought he'd never, maybe dry-come at the end a couple times, but, uh...

Right. So. Odin is kinda unimaginative in the bedroom.  
Very tab-A, slot-B kinda guy. So the first three times? Cream pie, cream pie, cream pie, me on my back, he being a terrible view.  
I mean, for an old guy he is kinda hot I guess, but I did not like this person, so I only came the first time during turn number four, where he decided to go for Odin's version of being creative, and go for another cream pie, but, like, with me on my hands and knees and me looking at the pillows instead of his face.  
Of course, I imagined someone else, out of spite if nothing else. 

By number five he was out of breath. By number six I pushed him back on the bed and rode him.  
He was very smug about that, as he is, of course, so for number seven I rode him harder.  
He was kinda out of it by that point, so I went for oral next.  
He looked kind of startled when he came on my face, and then he got turned on by me wiping up the come off my face with a finger and then sucking the finger clean.  
He shoved my head back on his dick, very rude.  
Being deepthroated made him come so hard he pretty much fainted.  
I prodded him, and he stayed knocked out, and then I just went on to give the guy a hand-job, because, ey, if I can't refuse, I can make him regret it by going "yes" way too hard, right?

He came to when his trouser snake was full-mast, and came pretty quick after.  
He glared at me, and I kept milking the guy, and looked at him in challenge.  
Of course he took it, and fucking failed, because it was cream pie-while-on-my-back for the next two rounds, and without the affection or y'know, chemistry, or even the lovely view that makes that position fun. 

He was panting and shivering by the time he was done, his eyes blown wide, his look unsteady.  
So of course I asked if he liked anal. 

Turns out he did, a lot, and he had like zero experience in it, so the next three rounds were pretty much him groaning and fainting on me while he came in my ass, and the fourth time, he slipped out and fell backwards on the bed, his limbs stiff and looking kinda paralyzed, his dick still jutting out all erect.

So I grabbed a sheet and gave him another hand job while pretty much cleaning his dick with the sheets.  
It doesn't have to smell like ass while it goes in another part of me, ok?  
I also went and sat on his face, which made Odin junior perk up with attention. I practically felt the little guy jump in my hand.  
So I ground my pussy on his face and made him come.

For round seventeen, I was going to go for a blowjob while stimulating his prostate, but I barely rubbed Odin junior back in a barely half-mast state when he, well, at first I thought it was another orgasm. But his dick was in my hands, pretty close to my face, and nothing was happening there.  
I checked his pulse, and it was going like mad before slowing down so much I could barely feel it. 

And then it just stopped.

Well.  
Oops?

So I went to the door and called for a guard, and asked that he called for the closest healer because Odin'd fainted during sex and he wasn't waking up.  
It was a bit of a production after that. 

His death was researched by magic to be of old age-induced stroke. That declaration was made while very carefully not looking at me.  
Also, I was found out to be pregnant, after which there was a scramble of people claiming that they totally hadn't had sex with me ever, and the child was declared to be Odin's.  
Legally I was upgraded to trophy wife, to ensure the child's legitimaty-ness.  
Which meant a whole lot less people were seeking me out to fuck me, which, y'know, pity, but probably good, because if I kept it up at the rate I'd been going, I'd have gotten a sex-addiction or something.

Thor didn't see a reason to stop, because Thor, and Loki seemed to take a twisted sort of glee in fucking me senseless.  
So I got what I needed for my libido, got a promotion to Queen consort, which, y'know, always nice, as it seemed to come with free immortality. 

So far the only downsides to this gig were the fact that it'd take three years or so to get Starbucks and internet established up here, and that apparently the baby was supposed to be called Balder because tradition, which, super lame, I'm totally gonna nickname that kid.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a case of author's regret and thought about deleting this, but some people bookmarked it, which to my mind means they like it and want to keep it.


End file.
